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Individuals Paying It Forward |
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| I
am a disabled mom of two, married for 13 years to my high school sweetheart.
There's been both good and bad, happy and sad times as everyone knows.
I had to go out after seeing the movie Pay If Forward and buy the
DVD and the soundtrack score also. This is my #1 favorite movie. Probably
my kids as well. It moved us to do the same and pay it forward. Some
were easier, some harder. All were from the heart and all were to
help make a difference. So now, my favorite saying is Pay It Forward.
This to me, personally, was the ultimate movie, with great actors
I love and respect totally. Great storyline, the works. Maybe the
reason this movie and idea worked so great for me was because it touched
my heart and soul and reminded me of who I was, who I am, and where
I have been and where I am going. I am just like anyone else except
the part of me thats not. LOL. Anyway, I have yet to read the book,
I read the excerpt but I went forward with doing my part and praying
it wasn't considered stupid or strange. I have paid it forward and
will continue. I always have even before the idea was created. Helping
is all I ever knew. I was a form of a pay it forward. I was adopted
by my aunt when her twin brother couldn't deal with a baby. Both my
real dad and real mom were alcoholics and so I think my aunt paid
it forward by adopting me and all. Teachers everyday pay it forward
in so many ways, kids do it too, and yes, even adults as well. I paid
it forward in school by helping others do things they couldn't alone.
In my neighborhood as well, always doing good deeds. Once I found
a $10 bill as a teenager and instead of keeping it, I felt that it
would be stealing, I went house to house to find the person who lost
it, when people just kept telling me to just keep it, it was ok. Well
I never did find the person who lost it and I did end up keeping it
but I also shared my wealth with family and friends and bought them
little items just to let them know I loved them and cared. And I remember
going to bed that night praying and thinking well at least I did the
right thing even if it did seem kinda dumb. And so my movement continues.
I still do good deeds, help others, try to make the world a better
place even today. Realizing that I am only human and can only do so
much took a while longer last year when I allowed the family blacksheep
to move in with us 4 to get up on his feet because he had a severe
drug problem-crack cocaine. Personally I never have messed with the
stuff, I heard alot, and just didn't realize what I was getting into
but I did it with my spouse's help and we paid it forward to this
man. And yes, we did get hurt, not physically but emotionally. There
were nights he was missing the entire night and I would just pace
and pace and worry. Then there were the days he was supposed to work
and he wouldn't and the lies he forever told us. There never was any
stealing I can remember. But he about ate us outta house and home
and only considered his own self when we tried reminding him that
we had kids to feed too and he needed to be more considerate. He never
was much on consideration. But in the end when we realized he couldn't
face us anymore from the lies and all and he would be back to get
his things we locked up the house and left and when we returned he
had broken in and taken his stuff. I felt so scared that he would
come back and hurt or kill us when we found out where he had been
for 3 days and why. And thats when we knew we had to let him go. We
had even managed him to go into church each Sunday with us as family
and be a part of something bigger. Me and my kids were afraid that
he would come back for revenge but he hasn't and probably won't. He's
a good guy but he like the rest of us has a problem and we only temporily
fixed it and maybe we weren't enough. He has to do it on his own some
too, and he just wasn't ready. I remember showing him the movie and
explaining it all and it made somewhat of a difference but it didn't
permantly solve his problem. But personally after all that and looking
back, I know what we went through and what we did was well worth it.
Maybe now he is out there living his life and remembering we were
the only ones in this family who cared and gave him chance after chance
and tried because we all love him and care so much. Even when he is
down and out he will remember us and the good part. There are other
Pay It Forwards I have done-fixing my adopted mom/aunt and her twin
brothers/my real dads relationship and the apologies that needed saying
before they both died. I got them together again and happily in the
end. And my sister who ran off to Las Vegas after my adopted mom/aunts
death with 19 thousand dollars when I was told it would only be about
5 thousand dollars once everything had been settled and paid. I got
not a dime of that, I never felt it was worth fighting for. So she
up and left to live in Nevada with all that cash with her daughters
family. Then about a year ago she shows up here in Clarksville, TN
with this story that it just didn't work out there. Truth be known
she too has a problem-alcohol. And they shipped her back here because
they'd had enough. So we helped her get up and running in her apartment
and realized we can't change her drinking, she has too be the one.
But not hearing from her for two years was very hard, until my spouse's
mom-in-law had a talk with her about people and such. So now even
with a strained relationship, we get together and manage. The other
pay it forwards would be-having to keep a promise to my adopted mom/aunt
to terminate her life support in the case where it was needed. And
also being the good daughter to my real dad in the last few years
of his life. Seeing him thru a heart attack, putting him in a nursing
home, and realizing in the end he hated being there and having to
let him go into death. There will be more pay it forwards for this
family, even if it never does make an impact. It does in our hearts
and souls and reminds us of who we are and where we are going. It's
all about choices and decisions and love. That and understanding,
hope, willingness, and respect. Haley Joel Osment is my favorite actor
along with Kevin Spacey and Helen Hunt and Jay Mohr. They did an excellent
job. Thanks for the excellent movie and allowing me to be more than
I ever thought I'd be. I am still hoping and praying to move to the
Nevada/Arizona area but everyone keeps squashing my dreams and telling
me we can't make it out there alone. But I know we can and I know
I deserve that chance. I think the desert is so beautiful. I can see
the true beauty where it lies, just waiting for that chance to prove
itself. That desert and me, we both have alot in common. I hope to
go there one day if even for a vacation because I feel it tugging
at me, heart, mind, soul, and body. I hear its call clearly. God Bless and Thank You, Mrs. Kimberly Thomason |
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